When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
