either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Randomize
