You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
