Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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