Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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