I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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