How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
