it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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