We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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