Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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