I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Randomize
