i permit you to call me
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
