Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize