I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
