I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
