I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
