I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
