did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize