accomplished twins. life is a go
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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