the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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