dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
