im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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