he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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