why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You dont lie about slip and slides
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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