I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
