just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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