Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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