just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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