Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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