It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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