Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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