my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
