Sry I called you an 8
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We don't watch enough power rangers
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
