This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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