is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
