You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
