i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
