It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
