Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize