My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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