id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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