In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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