girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
