GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Mom said you looked used
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
