carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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