Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
