Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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