so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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