"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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