dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I love you. Go after that dick
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize