if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
