the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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