break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
