I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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