Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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