We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
