I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
