I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
