Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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