I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
