he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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