I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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