It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
A+ Viking dick
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