I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
