I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
