Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
