just come out here and I will go home with you...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
