Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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