first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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